Sowaida Nezami is a computer science major and current Master’s student in Peace Studies and Conflict Resolution at the American University of Rome. Born in Afghanistan, Sowaida’s life has taken many routes and paths. Through struggles and redirection, she embraced her calling to become a peacebuilder like her admired sisters. With an incredible amount of patience and resilience, Sowaida’s story is a reminder of the inspiration and hope that is found on the other side of difficult times.
Where were you born and where were you raised?
I was born in Afghanistan. My parents and siblings were all born in Afghanistan, I have 2 sisters and one brother.
Tell me about the culture you grew up with.
I really love the culture and traditions in my country. It’s like various hues combined to create an incredible artwork. In my opinion, every nation’s culture is unique in their own ways. I remember a quote that says, “it’s our differences that makes us unique.” It’s what you were grow and raised with that has the most effect on your life and path. The culture in Afghanistan was really friendly and family oriented. We have a lot of traditions, I still celebrate my country’s holidays and hold on to all the things I grew up with.
Do you have a favorite memory of growing up in Afghanistan?
I had a lot of good times when I was child. As long as I can remember we lived together with my grandparents. I spent most of my time with them because my mother was a teacher and my father was working. One of my best memories from that time was when I was in grade 4 or 5. I used to come from school every day and go to my grandmother to ask, “What should we cook today?” I remember there was no stress, just cooking and eating. I was really enjoying life.
What was the greatest challenge you faced growing up?
I think it was the war, like anyone else who lived in the same situation their entire life. Dealing with it on a daily basis is quite difficult. Numerous hopes, goals, and lives were ruined. Living in war, you have to be brave when you are scared the most and remember that your loved ones are inspired by you. I remember whenever an explosion happened, daily living was severely disrupted and we couldn’t go to school.
Who or what would you say influenced the person you are today the most?
I can say my past. Today’s Sowaida is all thanks to all of the ups and downs that I experienced through in my life’s journey. It really shaped my personality and the way I look at life and the world. But I have to say I always admired my sisters and my father the most. My sisters were an example of hard work and never giving up for me. I always wanted to be like them. My sisters worked through a lot of stressful situations. They were going to really dangerous places working with humanitarian organizations. Both of my sisters worked in humanitarian aid and that’s what I really loved about them, it really shaped my goals. I have always wanted to become a really good person like my sisters.
Why did you originally study computer science and decide to pursue conflict resolution currently?
It’s a funny story. I had an obsession with hacking when I was in school. I wanted to be a great one because I truly liked it. After I began university, things started to change. Although I found my best friend at university, we had some tough times too. I lost my grandfather and grandmother and then there was the Covid period. Also, there were university bombings that killed 50 students and eventually the taliban took control. I had a lot of hard times during my university, so this is what I remember about computer science. That killed my passion for computer science. I then had the opportunity to continue my education after I finished, and I firmly think that it was fate that brought me here. I’ve always tried to stay away from politics, but you can’t escape what is written for you. I was about to give up on my studies, but this was a new beginning. It showed me a new path I must take.
You are one of the most patient people I have ever met in my life. What’s your advice on being patient?
Ah, it’s all about life experiences. All of us, not just me, have been through tough times. It’s what changes us and makes us who we are. Most of the time we only think about the suffering that we endure and complain about it, but just take a few minutes and think how much you changed during the process. I changed a lot through this journey. I still have a lot of bad habits and I accept that and I am trying my best to change for good. The first and most important step is to accept and then you can change.
I think it is important to think about all the things that a person has to bear and that also humans have to make wrong choices in their lives to grow. Growing is a process of suffering. My general advice would be to follow what you desire the most. When you have a passion about something, you have to hold on to that. That will give you hope, so dream big and hold on to what you believe in. Most importantly, please be kind to the people you face in your journey. At the very least, if you can’t help others, just try not to hurt them.
